By Donna
First posted January 2007

  1. Dead as the mastodon

  2. Dead as a lamppost

  3. Dead as the Pharoahs (or Mayans or Aztecs)

  4. Dead as hotpants (although, combined with black stockings above the knee, they’re making a comeback in Asia!)

  5. Dead as the moon (or Mars, although they’re still hoping to find life there)

  6. Dead as yesterday’s dinner

  7. Dead as a lightning-struck tree

  8. Dead as a shot-up TV

  9. Dead as the druids (this one might be iffy!)

  10. Dead as a dental cap

  11. Dead as a derringer

  12. Dead as the contents of a deli

  13. Dead as John Gotti